Archive for July 14th, 2010
Nightmares
I don’t know if I should listen to my dream or not. But haven’t I read somewhere that dreams are we seeing into our unconscious? If that’s the case. Then I’m not freaking straight and I don’t like guys either O_o
I dreamed once that I was human, but a special kind of human. A bit out of the ordinary; stronger, faster, agile.
I killed a vampire girl without feelings and if I think about it. I might have been a bit excited when I straddled her and let my fingers crush into her throat. (Though the most satisfying part of it all was she annoyed the hell out of me and I pretended to be meek and when the time was right, I killed her)
This night, I dreamed about getting together with a guy. I didn’t want to, but it’s what the world was, boys with girls. Other combinations wasn’t allowed. I felt sick, but I went “with the flow”, if I remember correctly I had to force myself to act normal.
He, of course, wanted to have sex with me and so I let him. The unwritten rule I had to follow; A girl aren’t allowed to love girl.
I was not the least bit excited about it. Only torture. It felt like I was going mad. The worst part was that his dick was like a monster. It sucked on my finger, eating me. I got scared when I realized that was going to reach into me and suck the life out of me.
And like all dreams, I woke up.
My stomach still cringe when I think about it.. I guess I’m not meant for guys ^^ ? I won’t take any hasty conclusions. But I will keep it in mind. I trust myself quite a lot.